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Drunken Fish and Fattened Hope by ~Elune04:iconElune04:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Human Nature > Open




Drunken Fish and Fattened Hope


Similarities, distinctly catastrophic,
press fate like grapes into wine.
Common cynicisms of life
hack away her fortress,
slowly but effortlessly
it crumbles.

Squash…
Tumble…
Splash…

The pieces swim,
her sweet, white puddle cluttered,
they are surrounded
by fallen conquerors and fat fish.
Still…
round and round she walks,
anxiously waiting
for the south wind
to blow her fears away.

But some things,
like the reflections in the water,
are just too good to be…

true.
©2004-2009 ~Elune04
:iconelune04:

Author's Comments

I just wrote this and I'd love some real C&C, let me know what you think, honestly.

I'm not too sure about the title I just came up with something off the top of my head.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconwhite-joke:
~white-joke Aug 23, 2004, 1:15:48 PM
ooh.
i squeaked reading this.

ooh.

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:iconnothing-iknow:
~nothing-iknow Aug 23, 2004, 1:55:11 PM
I really enjoyed reading this piece, it has flow that I find comforting somehow. It is not something that I can explain, seeing as how I find a sadness here as well.

I think you should keep the title. :-)

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Super pass the time away how go! [link]

remember, she is laughing now
and now i'm nothing...
:iconelune04:
~Elune04 Aug 23, 2004, 3:27:45 PM
Thank you, I like the title too it's interesting and mysterious. I'm glad you enjoyed this piece, thanks again.

--
Fantasy Writer's Forum
My Paintings
:iconnothing-iknow:
~nothing-iknow Aug 23, 2004, 3:31:57 PM
Yes! =D

--
Super pass the time away how go! [link]

remember, she is laughing now
and now i'm nothing...
:iconfardareismai:
=FarDareisMai Aug 23, 2004, 4:53:49 PM
I love how you ended it. It's just so expressive. I would give criticism, but I honestly can't think of any... Very, very good work as usual.
:iconelune04:
~Elune04 Aug 24, 2004, 3:49:26 AM
Thank you, I appreciate you telling me that you would give a critique. That really does help. Thanks again, I'm glad you liked it.

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Fantasy Writer's Forum
My Paintings
:iconwhite-joke:
~white-joke Aug 24, 2004, 8:27:00 PM
squeak!

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August 23, 2004
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